Following several months of investigation
and a sting operation involving a 14 year old boy as a "honey trap", Manchester police nabbed
Joan Higgins and her son Mark for distributing "goldfish" to
children.
The Daily Bear has since found out that by
"goldfish" they really do mean goldfish.
Further investigation found that the 14
year old boy had been sent in to the Higgins' pet shop by police to see if they
were indeed flagrantly flaunting the 2006 law banning pet sales to
children under 16. What's worse, they have been breaking this 4
year old law in the same shop for the past 28 years! About time they were brought to justice I
say.
We applaud the Manchester police for
clamping down on crime in what, until goldfishgate, had been a relatively safe
neighbourhood for both children and goldfish. This crime has far exceeded the original Danish
goldfishgate.
And clearly, the UK child labour laws that
set the minimum working age at 16 need not apply in
such an important case.
Not being able to afford a decent lawyer,
the mother and son syndicate pleaded guilty to the crime -- yup, this ain't no unimportant
civil case like drunk driving my friend -- and the judge sentenced the
mother-son animal peddling gang to 1,000 pounds each. They were very lucky there, because the
maximum penalty is actually 20,000 pounds which would be more appropriate for,
say, selling 20 goldfish to a 14 year old.
Do you want YOUR goldfish in HIS bowl?
In addition -- to monitor these criminals'
movements and keep the neighbourhood safe -- Joan "Goldfish" Higgins
was also placed under curfew and ordered to wear an electronic tag for two
months.
Iain Veitch, head of public protection at
Trafford Council, made it clear that such blatant breaches of criminal law
simply wouldn't be tolerated on his watch.
Ever:
"Let this conviction send out a message
that we will not tolerate those who cause unnecessary suffering to animals. The
council... will not hesitate to use our statutory powers."
I couldn't have put it better myself.
Being a whingeing pom, the 66 year old convicted
felon complained about the curfew and not being able to baby-sit her great-granddaughter
for two months. But seriously, who
really wants convicted felons near children anyway? Especially when they can't even be trusted
with goldfish.
Cheers,
Peter.