...and threats to the Consensus that Climate Change is real and
that carbon dioxide is creating global warming
Because without Consensus, scientific
conclusions could be subject to public scrutiny.
While Al Gore isn't quite ready to turn in his
Nobel Prize for Global Warming, there has been a recent major setback:
The earth has cooled down.
Ok, so it's now "Climate Change" but
the data still shows the earth is warming up and is at its hottest since the
Jurassic era right? Um... this chart
doesn't seem to agree with that...
This
isn't some prank chart from the coal lobby.
This is the ACTUAL chart form the IPCC's 1990 report. Clearly, this didn't make the headlines. So they reinterpreted the data to create this
one 11 years later:
So,
the same data shows that the earth is now much warmer than it was when Vikings
settled Greenland. So why aren't crops
growing on Greenland now? Because it's still
too bloody cold.
You
may wonder how they got this chart.
Here's an example of the data they used from northern Siberia covering
the last 4,000 years:
There
isn't much of a trend other than the fact that the magnitude of temperature
swings seems to have declined in the past 100 years -- obviously not good
headline material for climate change.
So,
what to do?
Well,
like any good scientist, you'll get data from hundreds of different sources,
correlate it, manipulate it, magnify it, selectively include it, and -- if you
have half a brain -- cover your tracks.
Here's
a good example of data collected from tree rings. The guys who made the chart for the IPCC's
2001 report clearly had PhDs in bullshit and are probably being scouted for the
Department of Labor's Bureau of Statistics:
Obviously,
the suggestion that the earth is cooling even with all that "greenhouse
gas" being emitted isn't very useful.
So from mid century the tree ring data was thrown out and actual
measured data was used instead.
Funnily
enough, the temperatures measured by thermometers actually rose over the past
50 years. The fact that 92%
of these thermometers in the US and 41%
worldwide are located at airports --
where traffic is up over 5,000% and surrounding areas built up -- was
conveniently ignored.
Ok...
so that's for temperature... and "Six degrees could change the
earth." What claptrap. Then there's a few other goodies that found
their way into the IPCC's report:
·
The
glaciers in the Himalayas will melt by 2035,
·
40%
of the Amazon rainforest will be destroyed in the next 30 years,
·
With
the oceans rising at 1990 rates, Tuvulu will sink beneath the ocean within 50
years,
·
The
frequency of storms over the past 30 years has increased dramatically.
·
The
average ocean temperature is rising
Here's
a lesson on how to create these dramatic statements from real facts, with
deletions in red and insertions in blue:
·
The
glaciers in the Himalayas will melt by 20350, according to a hiking
magazine
·
40%
of the Amazon rainforest will be destroyed in the next 30 years by loggers, according to the World Wildlife Fund.
·
With
the oceans rising at 1990 rates, Tuvulu would will sink beneath the ocean within 50 years, but at today's slowing rates it will probably take centuries.
·
The
frequency of storms over the past 30 years has decreased,
but reporting on them has increased dramatically.
·
A five year study of ocean temperatures has shown that the average ocean temperature
is cooling rather than rising
Ok. So that sorts out the headline grabbing stuff
that gets the report onto Fox News. Now,
the more important thing is creating a carbon trading industry and selling the
idea that CO2 is bad.
The
very basis of any decent carbon trading industry is the idea that CO2 is like
uranium or mercury -- it stays resident and dangerous for decades.
A
quick search of the database showed that 35 previous studies had incorrectly
found that the maximum time CO2 resides in the atmosphere is less than 15
years, with the average just 8 years.
Obviously,
more work was needed.
The
IPCC commissioned a new study which broke new ground in terms of the scope, the
expense, and the manipulation of data.
Suddenly, CO2 doesn't get recycled every 8 years. It now takes 100 years. Holy climate change Batman! Call up the FDA and get it classified as a Level 3 Health
Hazard.
WARNING: if you do come into contact with this level 3 health hazard through, say, breathing, here's what you should do (copied and pasted from the New Jersey Department of Health carbon dioxide factsheet:
Eye
contact: Immediately flush with large amounts of water for at least 15 minutes,
lifting upper and lower lids. Remove
contact lenses, if worn, while flushing.
Seek medical attention.
Skin
Contact: Quicly remove contaminated clothing.
Immediately wash contaminated skin with large amounts of water.
Inhalation:
Remove the person from exposure. Begin
rescue breathing (using universal precautions) if breathing has stopped and CPR
if heart action has stopped. Transfer
promptly to a medical facility.
Incidentally,
carbon monoxide -- which actually IS a hazardous and dangerous gas -- only gets a 2.3 on
the health hazard rankings!
So,
now we have "climate change", shocking facts being caused by climate
change, huge amounts of CO2 being emitted, and an expensive study showing that
the Level 3 Hazardous Gas remains in the atmosphere for 100 years. Damn we're doing well. All we need now is to prove that the increase
in atmospheric CO2 is what's actually causing global warming as measured by all
those overheated thermometers at airports.
This sounds difficult to prove, but there's actually a pretty simple methodology
to apply here:
Call
it a greenhouse gas. And GREENHOUSE
GASES CAUSE GLOBAL WARMING. Repeat it
enough times and you'll begin to think that greenhouse gases cause global
warming. Go on. Give it a try. It's hugely scientific (this was so
successful that the US government did the same thing for 9/11 and Iraq).
Of
course, we could try to reduce emissions of the three main greenhouse gases:
·
Nitrogen
·
Oxygen
·
Water
vapour
But
I suppose we have to start with what's possible.
All
that's needed now is for the governments of the world to set up Departments of
Climate Change!
Only
joking. No government's THAT ridiculous. Nor wasteful.
Cheers,
Peter.
